Twinkle Twinkle Little Star

This is about the days when abruptly anytime the ceiling fan used to stop working. The days when there were no "backups," no inverters. I used to run to my mother's room in the middle of the night and she would use my favorite handheld fan to help me sleep. That fan was handmade. Dadi made several for us. They were of beautiful bright colors, some had embroidery over them.

This is about the summers when everybody at home would eventually go upstairs and sleep on the cot, beneath the stars, except my father and me. My father used to complain about mosquitoes and I had weird complaints. It was difficult for me to sleep beneath the stars. Those millions of stars had the company of each other and they made me feel alone. Alone in a strange way. I remember how difficult it was for me to continuously look at them while trying to sleep. It felt as if there is a hollow tunnel and as much as I would look at it, I would keep going inside. I was intimidated by the vastness.

Little did I know that it's a privilege to have a sky above you that is filled with these tiny sparkling gems. Am I missing that feeling? The feeling of being intimidated by the vastness. I wonder if I miss that hollow tunnel too. Or is it just the fact, that a part of my childhood is lost, that is bothering me. I don't know. I don't think I will ever know. 

Is it strange if I say that I miss those dark nights that I had back in my hometown? We don't have such nights anymore. The nights that used to be lit only by the silvery moonlight and twinkling stars. There weren't many lights. I miss that sky. I miss the stars. I wonder if they are gone because they are miffed about how I used to feel about them back then. Can you ask them to come back? Can you tell them I am sorry and that I was not alone in their presence? They kept me company. They have been a part of my love for the moon and my fear of darkness. Can you please convince them to come back?

I grew up singing "Twinkle twinkle little star." How will it be if after a decade your daughter asks you, what are stars and how do they twinkle? Wouldn't it be heartbreaking to not be able to show your kid something so precious, so beautiful? What did we do? In an effort to bring everything to our feet, we lit the whole earth and let the stars drown in this arrogant bright artificial glare.

Don't you miss the sky of your childhood? The sky that was filled with stars!