Invisible
I thought you would check on me
if I am okay; if I slept alright.
When I told you, I am in pain
I thought you would care
to ask, what happened.
But you didn't. Neither did you.
But you didn't. Neither did you.
Actually none of you.
I suddenly became invisible
to everyone around.
You stuck by me in the happier times
Then what changed now?
You said I was fun and quirky
And that you gonna be around always.
How did that "always" end so fast?
How could you not see
that I was dying inside
And I needed you to
just pull me back once.
Is this how it works?
Was I also not around,
when you needed me? Maybe.
But then what is the point?
Of having people.
What is the point if you can't
find solace in any of them.
When no one can be there
to pull you back, to heal you.
You made me feel miserable,
needy and clingy. I hated myself.
I wonder if I also did that to you.
After a while, I became numb.
I got used to the pain
and to you not being around.
But it broke me.
Something inside me died.
And I can never go back to who I was.
Is that why adults are so damaged?
Because they hurt and they are hurt
Because they hurt and they are hurt
On their way to the unknown
they kill a part of each other.
Living with a broken soul.
Is that what growing up means?
This is the real magic ❤️. I love you Prakuš
ReplyDeleteI love you too bro.
DeleteWhen you realize that you can't change other people, and you accept that they are who they are and it's not your job, or your place to change them, you can learn to let go of people who are not giving you what you need; or requiring you to do all the work; or are causing you to be less-than. You can let go of these people and begin to embrace new relationships that are more healthy. New relationships where you are valued, validated and respected.
ReplyDeleteYou can also learn to love others who are close to you for who they are, especially those you must deal with in life, like parents and close relations (those who really matter). When you know what's right and wrong for you, you can set boundaries externally and emotional limits internally in a way that lets you stay safe and meet them where they are. You only do this with close family - new relationships need to adhere to your new levels - or remain acquaintances. The key is you stay neutral, not clinging to or pushing away negative people.
There are so many mental and emotional processes that can get in the way of this healing, but it's worth it to learn about everything. It's worth the effort to pull yourself out of the pit and to heal. You sure deserve a happy life. Everyone does. Thanks for sharing this gem. Sorry if I overstated anywhere in my comments. Regards.