Void

I bared my heart in front of someone today,

But I don't know how I feel about it.

I visited the long-forgotten lanes yet again today,

But I don't know how I feel about it.

I took her along with me,

on the lane that was once my home. 

But it was different today. 

For there was no lump in my throat 

while I showed her the dead trees.

There was not a tear in my eyes

when I took her over the crumpled leaf.

I was walking with her and showing her things,

as if I was never there before,

as if that lane was never a part of my life.

I wish I knew how did this happen.

How I grew over something,

that once killed a part of me.

I don't remember when did it stop hurting.

But it feels hollow for the pain is gone.

There is a deep void and I don't know what to fill it with.

I wonder if the pain was better than the void.

I wonder what would I choose if I had a choice.