P's Notes

खुद पे हस लेता हूँ,  थोड़ी मौज ले लेता हूँ, आज के दिन को अगर,  मैं थोड़ा सा जी लेता हूँ, तो वो मासूमियत से पूछती है, कल जो तुम थे,  क्या वो फिर ढोंग था क्या?  मुस्कुराकर उसको मै, जी भर के देख लेता हूँ, सवाल के बदले, एक सवाल पूछ लेता हूँ,   भोर के धूप की रंगत, संध्या की तपन से अलग थी, तो क्या वो फिर ढोंग था क्या? 

I found you beautiful when I first met you. But I don't remember what I saw that day. Please remind me? The fact that I can't remember it now, is making me anxious. I liked the beauty. It calmed me down. Fewer thoughts were going in and out. Less traffic, less crowd, Inside my head, for a while. I won't lie. I wanted to get used to it. I belonged to you for a while. In this space, where I am constantly surrounded by people who come and go unceremoniously in each other's life, I thought you are the one who likes to stay. I thought you liked slow walks and long pauses. But then slowly and eventually, the magic started fading away. There was a charm around you on the first day. That made me feel better about life. About people. But then it vanished. I kept looking for that person in you. And failed miserably. Repeatedly.  The kiddo who was smiling to you that day, wanted you to smile back at her. Bu