The days that are not overcast

I hardly ever write about the good days. The need to vent and get it out of my system often leads me to this blog. On the days that are not overcast and I can sit and eat rajma chawal on my sunlit balcony without worrying about work, I  feel. I feel a lot but I don't sit to write. Does that happen to you?

It's Monday and I am recovering from a weekend that involved a lot of feelings. Saturday was calm and I wondered if sunlight could make me so happy, why do I need the money? If you can derive pleasure from nature and people, which is the truest kind of pleasure I believe, then maybe capitalism might not be able to weigh you down? I don't know. These are just thoughts. Good to think about them, hard to pursue them. Saturday was also about a cup of coffee during the sunset with a long conversation with Purvash. We talked and talked each other into it and then out of it. 

Purvash and I talk a lot (to each other). Sometimes our conversations are in sync, we are both enabling each other, completing each other's sentences, and understanding where the other is coming from. At the end of these chats, we realize that amid all our differences also, we are quite similar. Saturday involved one such conversation. By the end of it, I had a heartache. I was physically missing TISS; it was a new feeling. I had never felt like that before. 

It was a good day all in all. For the evening dinner, I made triangle paratha for myself. By the end of the day and till now I have also been restless. I want to do so much; my mind is constantly making plans. But I am also scared of failing and making mistakes and just not being good enough. 

Sunday was one of the days when you wake up a little bad and then can't do much about it. By evening, I was anxious. My mum made it worse. The conversation about pregnancy and kids makes me anxious. It's so unfortunate that parents are supposed to be our safest space, but as we grow up we grow so apart from them. 

The dinner at Anand Sweets and the familiarity of the food made it better for me. Purvash was kind and accommodating throughout the day. Oh and I forgot to tell you that the weekend was so much feels because it began with us leaving our respective offices early and going to Umesh :)